June 23, 2022 - 1:25pm

It is apparently Pride Month, which has in recent years been stretched from one day in June to 30. This is presumably to allow time to recite the name of every single identity it represents. The flag supposedly representing the group formerly known as ‘lesbian and gay’ has been gradually updated to ‘better represent’ everyone on the planet. The flag, dozens of which can currently be seen hanging in central London, is the ugliest yet. The latest addition, as displayed during the Queen’s Jubilee, is a circle inside the yellow, which means intersex. It looks like it was designed by a group of drunken art students who broke into a Dulux factory and dropped some acid.

Who does it exclude, you may ask? Well, there is a man called Reginald who lives in Potters Bar and washes his Ford Cortina on a Sunday morning. If ever he wears rubber gloves to do so, he could perhaps be included within the K (kinkster).

The flag has become an unparalleled monstrosity and has gone way beyond parody. My friend Simon Fanshawe says that the latest tongue-twisting acronym of LGBTQQIAAAPPO2S, all supposedly represented in the flag, is more like an unbreakable WIFI password.

But let me attempt to explain what at least some of its colours represents. The first thing to recognise is that there are flags within flags. The bisexual flag is made up of pink, purple and blue. Pink represents same-sex attraction, blue the attraction to various genders, and purple is attraction regardless of sex or gender. In other words: completely meaningless.

Then there are the pansexuals who merited their own flag in 2010. They were very keen on distinguishing between themselves and bisexual people. The pansexual flag is, unless I got it wrong, pink, yellow and blue. The yellow, in case you were wondering, is representative of those who identify as agender.

The trans flag is made up of baby pink and blue, a very edgy way to represent feminine and masculine, with white in the middle for the non-binary community.

And we must not forget the asexuals, whose flag is black, grey, white and purple. There is a separate genderfluid one in pink, blue, purple, black and white (black represents a lack of gender, just in case you were wondering). There is also an ‘ally’ pride flag which, represents heterosexual/cis gender individuals who actively support the LGBTYWCAESPPQWWIKJBXR+ community. This is made up of black and white stripes with an ‘A’ shape in the middle in the colours of the rainbow flag. Get with the programme! Did you know that the yellow represents new ideas? No, read a book, sit down, learn something.

Have I mentioned the polysexual, polyamorous, genderfluid, and genderqueer colours? This list is not exhaustive. But I am exhausted.

Soon, schools will be requiring students to learn the acronym by reciting it to a tune, just like I learned the alphabet and times table. Exams could be set with questions about the colour for Q (NO! Not queer, ‘questioning’!) Which colour represents the third P(Panromantic)?

I knew this was coming when, back in the 1990s, lesbian and gay became one word. It is has become as ridiculous as it is meaningless. I vote to wave the flag goodbye.

Julie Bindel is an investigative journalist, author, and feminist campaigner. Her latest book is Feminism for Women: The Real Route to Liberation. She also writes on Substack.